The World’s Best
Just about everyone thinks that they’re the world’s best at something. Admit it, don’t you think you’re the world’s best soda guzzler, television show critic, cell phone talker, make-up applicator, pizza eater, belly button lint remover, armchair pro football expert, or something? Deep down inside, you feel you’re the cream of the crop at something.
I think I’m the world’s best long distance hitchhiker. Maybe I’m really not. But since there is no criteria, I will continue to reflect on my abilities and think no one is better.
I have hitchhiked over 20,000 miles in my life, logging enough miles to practically circumnavigate our planet. But mileage isn’t what made me No.1, it’s what I learned it those miles that helped me refine my craft. Let me share a few tips.
When I hitchhike, I always make eye contact with drivers. And if they pass me by, I just smile and look toward the next vehicle. I don’t cuss them out or flip ‘em the bird. My philosophy is that the ride I’m meant to get just hasn’t arrived yet to pick me up.
I always use a sign. I make them from cardboard, which is always easy to find, and I always carry a magic marker in my backpack. If I’m in a city, I’ll pick a destination about 50 miles away. If I’m outside a city or out in the country, I’ll shoot for somewhere 200-300 miles away or more. The bottom line is that I don’t want a ride that’s just a few miles away, especially if I’m standing in a good spot - one that offers good visibility and ample room for a car to pull over.
So let’s say I’m in Albuquerque, New Mexico heading east and my sign says “El Paso”, the westernmost city in Texas. If I see a possible prospect checking out my sign, I pull another sign from behind the El Paso one and it says “Please”. I’m looking for a reaction. If I get a sympathetic look, I flip that sign over and it reveals the show stopper “Aw C’mon”. That almost always solicits a smile. A third of the time, it also gets me a ride.
Once in a car, you have to carry on a good conversation, while also making the driver feel at ease and not threatened that you’re a weirdo or mass murderer or something. Never reach into your backpack, lest they think you have a gun.
With the right personality and gift for gab, which I have, the driver will open up to you. In a half hour you both feel as if you’ve been lifelong friends. More times than I can remember, a 300 mile ride has ended with me staying at their house for a night or two, getting fed the whole time, and even being taken out to meet their friends. I’ve ended up the center of attention at numerous parties and bars.
My budget when hitchhiking is $4 a day. Impossible, you think. Actually not. People are extremely generous. They want to feed you, even give you money when you part. I accept food, but never money. I’m not in it for money, in fact I usually have hundreds of dollars stashed in my socks. Four bucks a day can go a long way in a grocery store, especially if you live on fruits, nuts, and vegetables.
I’m into hitchhiking for the thrill, the adrenaline rush, the adventure. Meeting new people, seeing new places. Hitchhiking always restores my faith in humanity. People, for the most part, are decent folks. That rediscovery makes it all worthwhile.
- Mountain Man